How To Deal With A Narcissist During Divorce

Couples get divorced for a variety of reasons. One major cause of divorce is personality differences between couples. Divorce is also caused by abuse. One issue that combines these two qualities is narcissism, which is a common reason many people leave their marriages. If you think your spouse is a narcissist and you want to leave the marriage, here are some things you need to know:

What Is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is a person who suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This disorder presents as an extra strong sense of self-importance. Those who have NPD feel they are consistently right about most subjects no matter what the conflict is about. Many narcissists tend to be controlling, manipulative, and can opportunistic.

Is It Difficult to Divorce a Narcissist?

Narcissists do not typically like to lose at anything, including marriage. Losing anything is a major personal blow to a narcissist and can do a number on their ego. Those with NPD like to control narratives of any given situation and control the perception others have of them. If you want to divorce someone who is a narcissist, you will likely have an uphill battle.

Throughout the divorce process, your spouse could try to manipulate those around you to gain approval while simultaneously throwing you under the proverbial bus. It can also be a challenge to try to compromise with a narcissist, particularly when it comes to emotional issues like child custody and asset division. Any type of negotiation you have with your narcissistic spouse can become contentious and feel like a battle each time you meet. Expect consistent attempts at manipulation and emotional control as you go through the divorce.

What Are Some Tips as You Divorce a Narcissist?

First and foremost, you need a great attorney to help you along the journey of divorcing a narcissist. Inform your attorney right away about your spouse's tendencies so they know what you are both up against. Many divorce and family law attorneys have experience working with narcissists and will know how to approach each situation in a way to make it as easy as possible for you. Also, you need to document every single interaction you have with your spouse. All forms of communication that exhibit narcissistic behavior should be recorded, whether it is emails, text messages, voicemails, or social media posts. One of the best things you can do is limit communication from your side as much as possible. When possible, have your attorney do much of the communication for you so that your spouse does not have the opportunity to manipulate you further.

Contact a local family law attorney to learn more.