Considering Separation: What To Do

The current state of your marriage may be putting a strain on your daily life and the life of everyone in your family. Living in the same house could add to this strain, and everything may feel uncomfortable or unpleasant. A trial separation may be on your mind as a way of finding relief for a while. If you go through with separating, take these steps.

1-Create an Agreement

The simplest way of working through the terms of the separation is to come up with a separation agreement. This agreement will address man of the issues that would be raised in a divorce. For example, the agreement will dictate whee the children stay, where you stay and how much alimony or child support will change hands. It will lay out how you and your spouse might divide any assets.

However, because your relationship may be toxic at this point, you may need to bring in lawyers to help draft relevant documents. Separation agreement lawyers can talk to each other so that you and your spouse aren't forced to work together if you are unable to at this time.

2-Seek Therapy

You may be so full of anger or sadness that it's hard to talk with your spouse or live your life optimally. Even if you've already tried couples' therapy, you might want to head back to an individual counselor or therapist. There you can process emotions in a healthy environment. You'll be taught ways of calming yourself, focusing on the children and soothing yourself during this process.

Therapy can go beyond coping skills. You can discuss whether divorce is inevitable, for example. You can start exploring the part you played in the deterioration of the relationship. You must know how your actions contributed to what's happening now so that you can be a better partner in the future, to your spouse or someone else.

3-Talk to Children

Both you and your spouse might have already talked about the separation with your children, but you need to keep checking in with them about how they're doing. Depending on their age, they may not understand much about what is happening, but they know what they feel. Help them express their honest feelings and reassure them that both parents care deeply about them.

Your separation could be a positive development for your family after some time. Work with your separation agreement lawyer and other professionals to deal with this trying time